The Unraveling of a Morning: Reflections on Team Dynamics and Personal Growth

This morning started like any other. I grabbed my coffee, sat down at my desk, and prepared to dive into the day’s tasks. But just ten minutes in, I found myself under siege. My team lead bombarded me with questions about a task I had promised to finish by yesterday. Unfortunately, it wasn't a task I could complete solo; it required collaboration with a higher-up whose time is much more valuable. Yet, my team lead seemed oblivious to this challenge.

It's perplexing, really. She’s handled projects before, so I expected a bit of understanding and compassion. Instead, I faced criticism. Her approach left me with a pounding migraine that persisted throughout the day. By lunch break, the stress got the better of me, and I ended up puking. 

I recently joined her team, full of hope and enthusiasm. Now, that initial excitement is giving way to frustration and a strong desire to leave. The workload itself isn’t particularly challenging; it's the constant back-and-forth, the endless confirmations, the hesitations, and the corrections that are wearing me down. 

This entire experience has been a harsh reminder of my days as a full-time barista. Back then, I was strict with my team, often lacking the empathy I now wish for from my team lead. Is this how they felt? Overwhelmed, undervalued, and stressed to the point of physical illness? The realization stings.

To those I wronged in the past, I’m sorry. 

It’s clear now that understanding and compassion are vital in a team setting. We all have our struggles, and a little empathy can go a long way in easing the burden. As I navigate this challenging situation, I’m committed to learning from it. I don’t want to be the kind of leader who makes their team feel this way. 

Moving forward, I hope to find a balance. I want to be efficient and effective, but also kind and understanding. It’s a delicate line to walk, but I believe it’s possible. For now, I’ll take it one step at a time, striving to be the change I wish to see in my team.

So, here’s to better days and better leadership. Here’s to learning from our past and making amends. And most importantly, here’s to a workplace where compassion is valued just as much as productivity.